read numbers 20 and 23 on deb's blog <3

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have you ever had your parents look at you with that i'm-disappointed-but-i'm-not-gna-tell-you face?

seems like my two years of studying in jc still wasn't enough. quek got straight As for prelims; rg head prefect; canoeing captain; featured in dozens of school magazines; countless awards; yale; 100% financial aid.

what more can a girl strive for?

it's so painful to know that in the end, what i've done isn't enough. and as much as i want the spring scholarship, i don't want to end up as one of those i'm-in-singapore-cause-i-couldn't-go-overseas mediocre person. maybe it's just the status i'm after. i really don't know now. i honestly don't know. and my mum isn't helping with all her why-didn't-you-get-it looks.

maybe that's why people turn to God. sometimes i wonder if it's an avenue of consolation, so that when things don't go the way you want, you tell youself that it's all God's plan - that things weren't supposed to happen anyway. but if i keep thinking that, i'll stop trying, won't i? then i'll keep settling for the second best, or the third...

Online Recipes

it's official, vivian gan can bake a (freaking sour) lemon tart, cook pork and century egg porridge, stirfry maggie mee and fry countless eggs.

halfway through cooking the porridge
auntie: "is something burning?"

after the porridge has been reheated twice and and looked like goo.
uncle: "waa, you mashed the rice is it?"

nooo =(

but the porridge was seriously freaking good.

Warheads Tarts

"So the next time you forget that you're Blair Waldolf, remember that i'm Chuck Bass, and i love you."

aww.. Chuck says the sweetest things.

"Would you be my girlfriend?"

yknow, i've never heard those words before, until 061109. hehe 061109 looks pretty.

okay, some of my favourite moments from prom to remember.

absolutely disgusting but necessary photo
after sherrie's ahmazing performance =DD i'm so proud of you babe! you owned the other namesake handsdown.

seeing cheemon after 6months. or rather, not recognising her.
*5 seconds later*
"who is this?"

i got an anguished look + cry from her =/ jialet. she nearly made me tear! okay she did make me tear. silly girl =((( see you friday!

i dno how someone got hold of this photo but it looks like we're having fun so...

i felt everyone stare at us when we took this heh.

i'm gna get taysong's specs i think i look half decent in them =D although minus the nice hair and make up and clothes i'll probably be left minus half decent.



i think i wna unlock my blog. it's about time she dealt with things maturely.

"I love you too" - Chuck Bass

B - "Aren't you supposed to be in Europe?"

C - "I was in Paris, but only to get your favourite macaroons"

B - "And Germany?"

C - "To get your favourite silken stockings"

B - "Then what are you doing here?"

C - "... I love you too"

*inserts happy kiss*

B - "But like, can you say it twice?"

C - "I love you. i love you. That's 3 times. I love you. That's 4 times..."

awww <33

In The End

wow, it's over.

suddenly everything that i've been working towards since j1ct1 is over? it still feels pretty amazing to know that i can watch a whole cycle of antm the whole day and not feel guilty. i have nothing to do!

okay, maybe i should find a job but that's neither here nor there right now.

i was smiling at 3.30pm yesterday halfway through the h3 paper cause i was so damn happy the paper wasn't guailan and i was going to be free in 1.5hrs. i wonder how it'll be, getting back my report. knowing my expectations, i will not be truly happy unless i see 5 As and a distinction staring at me. although grades aren't everything, and blahblah, they would mean a lot too if you've put in all your efforts since day1 to achieve it.

but then again, if i can't get a scholarship, i don't have to worry about getting perfect grades. maybe i should just skip uni and open a tuition centre. or my retail shops. i don't really want to spend my life working for someone else anyway. i want to do what i want.

3.30pm today was a different story though.

i'm sorry. maybe i have two screws loose.

Her


viviangan♥
14jan91