@ 10:50:00 PM<3
The Ugly Truth"why do you choose?" you asked.
"no, why do YOU choose?" i asked in return.
i let myself imagine, let my imagination run wild. i pretended to be, thought pretention was alright. when you asked how long it took, i crossed my fingers. when you really asked, i was ready to do her jiggle. when i replied no, could you sense that i wanted to crumble, did you realise my smile was plastered?
then you sent, and i grinned like a fool.
but soon, i will tell you that i am not who you think. i make you laugh, because i don't remember the bad when i'm with you. how do i explain to you that I have once loved, gave everything, but ended up with nothing? how do i tell you that i'm broken, and can never be fixed? how do i confess that i'm afraid to love, and afraid to commit? the truth is, i can't. and it hurts, to think the wound has healed only to realise that i can not care, but i can't really forget.
you ruined me. i cried every night for you, and i am exhausted. it seems now that i will always be, no matter how many peaceful nights pass. this hollow, this dull ache has become a permanent haunt that surfaces whenever i let my guard down. cutting you off completely was the only way i could ever stand a chance of fixing myself, even that failed. yet, the worst of it all is that i know i will never find someone like you. and even if i do, you've taught me that even the best is imperfect; even the best can destroy me in ways that the second best can't.
so, why try? why risk the nights of insecurity, the nights when i can't even catch my breath because the cries come in hiccups and animalistic screams? why entrust my moods into somebody else's, so that i am only happy when we are happy? you made me despise, despise the neediness of it all. if i ever grow up to be a man-whore, you're the reason why.
No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know
