@ 12:25:00 AM<3
-have you ever had your parents look at you with that i'm-disappointed-but-i'm-not-gna-tell-you face?
seems like my two years of studying in jc still wasn't enough. quek got straight As for prelims; rg head prefect; canoeing captain; featured in dozens of school magazines; countless awards; yale; 100% financial aid.
what more can a girl strive for?
it's so painful to know that in the end, what i've done isn't enough. and as much as i want the spring scholarship, i don't want to end up as one of those i'm-in-singapore-cause-i-couldn't-go-overseas mediocre person. maybe it's just the status i'm after. i really don't know now. i honestly don't know. and my mum isn't helping with all her why-didn't-you-get-it looks.
maybe that's why people turn to God. sometimes i wonder if it's an avenue of consolation, so that when things don't go the way you want, you tell youself that it's all God's plan - that things weren't supposed to happen anyway. but if i keep thinking that, i'll stop trying, won't i? then i'll keep settling for the second best, or the third...
