@ 11:50:00 PM<3
8 Weeks And Countingwhy is it that everybody likes to harp on certain 'significant' numbers? the 1 hr of running, the 300th blog post; the 1 year anniversary; the 50th birthday. if only human beings could really try to appreciate each day and each event as it is, because it's not like the less special numbers are any less special, actually.
psc interview with about 10 senior members seated on one side of the conference table, while a lone chair stands uninvitingly on the other. questions that left me in a permanent state of anxiety as to what if i can't answer the next one?
i'm on a path of faith-finding which leaves me in contradictory positions 24/7. when i was young, i've always wondered why i'm thinking in the capacity of ME and not someone else (such as a farmer in Cambodia, for example). or what i mean to reality when my death wouldn't change a thing in the universe (except for the grief of anybody who bothers to grieve). funnily enough, i doubt that even the most learned philosophers and physicists can explain to me how my mind works, and whether there even is a reality that exists parallel to my being.
buddhism and hinduism operate on karma; what you're reincarnated as in your next life depends on what you do with your current one. in that sense, your soul ceases to exist when you die, and in your rebirth a new soul is erected. enlightenment is achieved when you are 'awakened', for buddhists, or reconciled with the hindu God, for hindus. multiple Gods exist, and idols are made for worship.
Islam is built on the belief that God, or Allah revealed his final message to humanity through the Islamic prophet Muhammad via the archangel Gabriel, and the Qur'an is the holy book of revelations he received. there is only one God. many figures that appeared in the Qur'an also appeared in the Bible.
and isn't it strange that Israelites are supposed to be God's chosen people, but almost half of the people in Israel now are Jewish? of which i don't know the percentage which are secular Jews, but certainly there must be a reason why these people don't believe that Jesus is the messiah, when their forefathers had receieved so many messages from God?
so anyway, everybody claims that their religion is right. some stress that does who disbelieve are automatically condemned. but shouldn't you consider the implication of confirming your faith? because if you happen to be right, then automatically the rest of the world, who are wrong, are eternally banished to hell. if you ask me, that is not a very pleasant decision to make. although some may be angry that i'm thinking of faith as a right or wrong choice, don't be. after all, it is impossible for everyone to be right in this debate.
so now i'm trying to believe that God sent me to earth for a purpose, and that i only have one lifetime to find Him. that makes me sort of wonder what i was doing before this lifetime. was i not existing? if so, would it be somewhat like a dreamless sleep, where i am unconscious of my existence? because i can't imagine how else it should be like. and why didn't God tell every baby that He exists? i keep wondering why the subsequent generations lost their way. it's one thing to know that a God is omnipresent, and choose to doubt his ability (much like the Israelites in the Old Testament), but another matter to be completely unaware of Him.
aye. the progress is slow. but He will show me the way if i am meant to find it.
