on christmas i met this new guy. he's cute, fit, funny, sweet, hardworking and we have lots in common. it's been two weeks plus since we've known each other, and he tells me he really likes me. the feeling is pretty much mutual, and i feel really blissful when i'm around him. whenever i'm lost and i don't know what i want to do, he's the alternative to meeting my ex. and the thing is, i really look forward to meeting him, so i wouldn't consider it a replacement. perhaps i have a tendency to rush into relationships, but i do see a potential in this one.

we've been going out almost everyday for the past two weeks; i make him laugh, he makes me laugh. i can be retarded and stupid when i'm with him, and he accepts me for all the vulgarities and crudeness that i throw around when we're with our friends. he scolds me for smoking, accompanies me to drink, and sends me home safely afterwards. he used to listen to my rants about my ex, but recently they've died down as i start liking him more and more.

i made him sing out loud with me in the car, hugged him while he was driving, even took him to the balestier bak kut teh place. i did all the things my ex used to do with me, and at first i did it to remind myself of my ex. but today as i held his hand while he was driving, it felt different. i've stopped comparing him to my ex. x was right - my ex had a 7 month head start against other guys, so it wouldn't be fair if i kept comparing. he read his notes in my bed today and yesterday while i read my book, and it felt really cosy and sweet. those were the things i never got to do with my ex, so i guess it's a head start on his part? haha.

dear blog. it does sound all so wonderful and fairytalish doesn't it? there's just one really, really huge problem.

he has a girlfriend.

a two and a half years girlfriend, for that matter. he told me he loves her, yet he's still going out with me. for some strange unfathomable reason, i just can't seem to bring myself to care about that. i love his company, and he makes me forget about my ex (i don't think it's in the rebound sense). s tells me he's just playing with me to 'get into my pants', but i choose not to think so. i don't want to think so, that'd hurt too much. maybe i'm too naive, but i believe this one.

it' almost 6 in the morning. i should get some sleep. i just want somebody there for me, is that too much to ask for?